Sometimes life just doesn't have any answers left, and all we have is our pain. I have found that pain heightens the senses and dials up the colors of my life. I may be walking through my daily routine, and out of no where, something terrible and heartbreaking may hit me.
And suddenly I am more aware.
This past week, something like that hit us. It isn't directly our pain and therefore I cannot share the details here. Only that we are broken, and we are weeping for those who we love dearly. I heard a godly woman speak today at a conference, and she made the comment "Because I had the peace of God, though I was taken from all I held dear, I didn't shed a single tear!" And of course I wondered...does the peace of God = no tears? Can't we experience God's comfort in the midst of our weeping? Or once we feel His presence are we meant to take a deep breath and pick up again? I know she didn't mean to make it sound so simple, but as Christians do we try to make grief and faith a formula?
A confession: I don't know the answers to this - only that we can draw near to God. And if we are on the floor too exhausted from our pain to even crawl to Him...well, the Bible says "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit..."
Pain makes me more aware of my need for God and His nearness.
One of my all time favorite song-writers, Rich Mullins writes a song that has ministered to me time and again. It goes like this...