The Lessons I Never Learn

I wrote out my New Years Resolutions on January 5th.  Thankfully, "Stop Procrastinating" was not one of them.

I started off my list by basically cutting and pasting from the following year.  Drink more water, wash my face every day, eat healthier, sleep more, read some books, read my Bible consistently. Every one of those resolutions was a resolution for 2013 and would have made for a healthier year had I actually adhered to them.  And yet, 2013 ended up looking a little more like this: watch more netflix, use facebook more, eat Trader Joe's dips and crackers consistently, stay up too late, drink more (like, way more) coffee, wash face sporadically.  I did read some books though - I am very consistent there.  I don't know why it is so difficult for me, and for many of us, to do things that are good for us.  We all know exercise is good and that we feel good when we have discipline and our hard work pays off in toned arms and smaller muffin tops over our jeans.  We know that healthy eating and proper hydration makes us less tired and our skin look better and our lives probably longer.  And yet I fail to do these things again and again.  Why?

I think New Year's Resolutions must be going out of style.  Or at least it is not popular to admit to having them.  Ryan asked the church congregation yesterday who had made resolutions for 2014 and about 5% of the people raised their hands.  I am curious why that is?  Have we lost faith in ourselves that we can follow through?  Are we too busy to set new goals?  Do we all have "bucket lists" now that are good for an entire lifespan, making yearly goals unnecessary?

For me, part of the problem is that I am a staunch rule follower.  The only rules I ever feel I can break without getting into trouble are my own rules.  Which might be why, yesterday after penning the words "Eat Healthier" in my journal, I ate a bowl of nachos for the first time in many years and ate 4 chocolate chip cookies.

As a resolution - maker I am really terrible.  Despite this, I have had some great years.  2013 was a great year.  Ups and downs of course, but with fun, active, smart and compassionate boys and a loving husband who I am blessed to share my life with.  We had some great adventures and I trust we have more to come.  The New Year is a time to make those breakable resolutions but also a time to reflect and set goals of character and of how to we want to live as individuals and as a family.  Healthy eating, yes.  But I pray that in 2014 I also get a healthy dose of humility and reminders of how I can grow in grace towards others.

I hope that we don't set resolutions or that we break them because they aren't things that really matter.  I hope they are lessons we don't really need to learn.  And I hope that the things that do matter, are the things that stick this year - the goals and the plans that God has for my life.  I trust that He is better at following through than I am anyways.  Happy New Year!