Sunday, November 4, 2012

You know you are a mom of boys when...

In case you aren't sure whether you fit into this category, I am referring to mothers of ALL boys although some of the list may pertain to mothers with at least one boy.  Not sure.  I wouldn't know.

1.  You know that a nut cup is not something caterers use to display holiday chestnuts, walnuts and hazelnuts.

2.  You never yell at anyone in your house for leaving the toilet seat up.  In fact, after going pee, you yourself put the toilet seat up.  Otherwise, one of your boys will inevitably pee without lifting the seat and you will have sticky pee all over the seat.  It is just easier that way.

3. You often find yourself cleaning footprints off the wall at eye-height and hand prints off the ceiling.

4. You have a special camaraderie with other mothers with only boys.  People may think you are exclusive...but that's just how it is.  You need to feel you are special in some way because your boys and husband usually just think you are weird.

5.  No one uses plates on pizza night because it makes more sense to eat off of the box.  Boys are very efficient that way.

6.  I never understood the term "hoover" your food until I had all three boys at the table.  It's like magic the way they make the food disappear.

7.  You realize that the concept that a mom of all boys is like the "princess" in the family is a complete fallacy.  No one will treat you like a princess or see you that way because they don't know what a princess is, nor do they care.

8.  You spend more time cleaning urine off the floor than you do having tea parties.

9.  Boys without sisters don't see anything wrong with throwing snowballs at girl's faces or flashing their butts in public.

10.  Your children are honestly surprised when you mention to them to use soap in the shower and to change their clothes or at the very least, their boxers.

11.  If you can make it one week without someone breaking a bone, setting a fire, getting a black eye or getting a bloody nose sliding head first down the stairs on a piece of cardboard, it is a good week.

12.  If you can make it one week without any body slamming, double dipping, running in the house naked, ball-throwing, grunting, inappropriate gas-passing or burping, drinking out of the milk carton (again boys are efficient), or roll-down-the-window body oder...

Well...I wonder if you really have boys at all.

Let me know what I missed!


Ryan Rosenbaum said...

There has to be something about video games. I'm not sure families with girls have to think about that.

Unknown said...

Farting and Burping have to be mentioned or performed at least once during meals

Sara Rosenbaum said...

Unknown - yes! See #12. Ryan - I think girls like video games too these days but maybe not "Halo" and maybe the world domination games like Risk are not as popular with daughters!

Steve & Devon said...

This is awesome. Just catching up on some of your blogs Sara. I miss hanging out with you guys and seeing/experiencing all of these shenanigans.